Courtney Edwards, MS, BCC

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glad.

scenes from running

One of my favorite lyrics in one of my favorite songs by my favorite band begs the question, “Why won’t you ever be glad? It melts into wonder.” And that is the spot from which I’d like to begin this musing.

Gladness. And wonder. What I like to call the “little g” gratitudes. We’ll talk a bit about “Big G” gratitude soon, in another post.

Gladness. I thought about this, and the lyric above, this morning on my run. I have a quiet little rail trail that runs behind where I live. Right now, it’s decorated with little purple flowers. Some yellow ones, too, but the purple ones have exploded everywhere. And in general, that trail is lush and green; the sun is often shaded but yet still brilliant.

It’s pretty much my favorite place to be. It makes me quite glad to be there and to see the purple flowers and the sun dancing in the leaves.

It occurred to me a long time ago that gladness leads to something bigger and it it opens up a new way of viewing the world.

It also occurred to me a long time ago that the cynicism I was growing in my heart and the hurts I was holding on to so tightly took a lot of work and a lot of energy.

Gladness just felt….easier. Like breathing in cool air. Being a cynic, particularly in some of the areas I’ve lived and in some of the social circles I’ve been a part, is often a valued trait. Skepticism, I’ve found, is carried like an armor to denote depth and a certain kind of knowing. It’s exhausting.

But being glad, when you open and allow it, is easy; and it does, in fact, melt into wonder. Awe.

One of the questions on my spiritual self-care assessment is “do you have experiences of awe?” That’s how important it is to our very souls.

My experience has drawn a straight line through gladness, awe, wonder, and being grateful for it all.

Lots of people are telling of the things they now notice - the unfolding of spring, small purple flowers, moments of quiet with loved ones, stargazing.

If there is a gift in the midst of all this trauma, may be it is our infinite and resilient capacity to feel glad.