In recent weeks, we have experienced 100,000 deaths from COVID-19 and witnessed the murders of three Black humans (and the infamous Central Park incident that could have resulted in the threat of life to a fourth). My heart is heavy, and I sense that heaviness in others around me.

It is, at first glance, easy to equate this with my naturally embedded sensitivity, my personal brand of heightened empathy. The emotions of others are easily perceptible to me and it’s not uncommon that I sometimes take on that emotional load, even when it’s not mine to bear.

And I am sure that this is, at least, part of why the sins of humanity against humanity pain me so much.

But, I believe it is only part of it.

In my meditation instruction, I take care to make this practice accessible to all people despite spiritual or religious affiliation. I want it to be clear that one does not need to identify as Buddhist in order to become a meditator.

I am not even completely sure if I identify as Buddhist. I have never been a part of a sangha and I eat meat. Probably a Buddhist-leaning agnostic is the closest descriptor for my spiritual orientation. But the more I learn about this philosophy, worldview, orientation, and approach to life, the more it deeply resonates with me.

The more I find out about Buddhism, the more I find myself in it.

I was raised in the Christian tradition. I have regularly been counted among the parishioners in Evangelical, Methodist, Catholic, and Presbyterian churches. And yet, there was never quite a right fit.

Early in my religious education a concept became clear to me, and it did not entirely align with what I was being taught.

Specifically, I remembering have an idea that all of the souls of all of the people who would ever be were formed all at once and resided in heaven until it was their time to be sent to Earth. By the time I was a bit older, this idea had lent itself further to the idea that, ostensibly, we would get more than one turn.

I did not have actual words for these ideas, but they were safe and comfortable ideas.

I also remember once being in a conversation with my mom, and wondering aloud what I would be like, look like, if she and my dad weren’t my mom and dad. (Don’t ask me why we were having this conversation; that detail is long lost and I was always a bit odd and overthinking, even as a kid.)

She said, I could never have been anyone except who I am because she and my dad are my mom and dad. I don’t think I argued the point but I definitely didn’t believe her. It wasn’t my truth.

Fast forward decades and enter my interest in Buddhism.

There is a question from the Zen tradition that I have encountered. “What did your face look like before your parents were born?”

A-ha!

Yes, yes, yes. This. As a child of elementary school age, this is the idea I had had without knowing from where or why. Suddenly, things made sense and things seemed to be the right fit.

There is another Buddhist teaching that reflects my truth, and this is what brings me back to my initial point. Why I care, and why the pain of others hurts me, too.

The Zen koan above connects to ideas that allow for reincarnation, as a concept. In Awakening the Buddha Within: Eight steps to enlightenment, Lama Surya Das writes, “(a)ccording to traditional belief, we have all been cycled and recycled through innumerable forms in an inconceivable number of lifetimes…(e)veryone has been kind and helpful to you in some past life, because everyone you meet has been a loving relative; they should be treated accordingly.” (2009, p. 156).

Interconnectedness. Oneness. Nothing exists outside of the context of all.

More from Surya Das: “Learn from all, judge no one, be kind to all, and say thank you”.

Beautifully, perfectly, appropriately, this idea is not solely Buddhist in nature. And so, for those of you who would fear embracing this concept as it seemingly runs counter to other spiritual traditions, I’ll leave you with the words of Mother Theresa:

“Today, if we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other-that man, that woman, that child is my brother or my sister.”

In response to the pain of the world, I return again (and again and again and again) to lovingkindness. It breeds compassion. It makes it impossible to ignore our interconnection:

For the many communities impacted by violence and oppression:
May you experience healing.
May you be healthy.
May you be safe.
May you know peace.

For the families who have lost loved ones to disease:
May you experience healing.
May you be healthy.
May you be safe.
May you know peace.

For all of us:
May we experience healing.
May we be healthy.
May we be safe.
May we know peace.

For anyone desiring more to do beyond prayer/meditation please see this list of resources for dismantling systemic racism and white supremacy from the Dismantle Collective.