Boundaries.
When I am not being a behavioral health coach, or a meditation practitioner, or leading workshops , (or running, or being a mom and wife…), I am an instructor at the state university near where I live. Specifically, I teach in the counselor education program within the department of psychology - which is the fancy way of saying I teach future school counselors and therapists. This will be my second semester in a one year (temporary) role, and it has come with more than its fair share of learning opportunity.
I’ve been teaching as an adjunct faculty member for several years but this was the first time I have taken on a full-time faculty position. In addition to my teaching load, I also coordinate the experiential learning component for the counselors in training.
As I’ve been prepping for my courses, I’ve been reflecting a lot on the previous semester and the lessons I’ve tried to take from it. I’m sharing here now for a few reasons: 1) it’s been rattling around in my brain and this the best way I know to get it out; 2) I am hoping to hold myself accountable in the approaching semester; 3) there may be some nuggets here that broadly apply to a variety of work scenarios and may be helpful to you.
Specifically, let’s talk about boundaries in the workplace.
There was an instance during the fall semester - one particular day - in which I discovered a most valuable lesson. On that day, I realized I had missed a deadline. I don’t remember the details now, but in my state of overwhelm there was a task I was supposed to accomplish, and I didn’t. Concurrently, on that same day, I spent hours trying to figure a task I was struggling with, only to realize it was not my task to do. The lesson I took away here was that I need to deal with my shit. But only my shit.
The non-teaching portion of this role centers significantly on meeting the needs of others - responding to questions, issues, problems, crises, etc. I had gotten into a very bad habit of checking my email immediately upon waking up, multiple times a day, no matter where I was or what other stuff I was (supposed to be) doing. Which, I guess, in and of itself is fine, except then I felt obligated to address whatever it was immediately. This led me to feel stretched way beyond capacity and without solid footing underneath me. My particular form of co-dependency is predicated on my ability to solve the problems of the world, you know? Dangerous collision with handheld technology and a generation that is accustomed to real time responses. The lesson I took away here was that just because I have the capability of being immediately and constantly connected does not mean I should be immediately and constantly connected.
The aforementioned non-teaching portion of my responsibilities equates to approximately 40% of my assigned responsibilities, but was easily taking up 80% of my time. This goes along with the previous point, but also demands better allocation of time on my part. Late in the fall semester, I adopted block scheduling and I am looking forward to the tone I can set for the semester by implementing this from Day One. I’ve always been good with time management on the macro level but truly drilling down into more detail has become necessary when juggling three courses, additional responsibilities, and my life outside of the college. My impressions of block scheduling had been broad and somewhat vague (for example, Wednesdays, I’ll be on campus) but the tempo of these roles no longer allows for that. Block scheduling, done properly, digs into the minutiae of my schedule and allows me to put a fine point on the amount of time to dedicate to my varied responsibilities.
Finally, mindfulness and meditation practice has provided the space to challenge the stories I tell myself about all of the above. I’ve been able to bring the hamster wheel to a stop, bring silence to chaotic moments, and reframe the approach I take to my work. When I look back on the past, I can see where a semester like the one I experienced in the fall - the frenetic pace, steep learning curve, and multiple demands - would have sent me into a shame spiral of perceived failure. Instead, I was able to focus on what was true in each moment and confront the negative narration in my mind.
The semester starts on Tuesday and I am truly excited. I just completed the final touches of my syllabi and I am so proud of the way these courses have come together. It means so much to me to a part of the training of future mental health clinicians.
I am also looking forward to the workshops and events I have planned for the coming months for solavis. I am invigorated by the work I am doing with my clients. I cherish and value the life I spend away from my career ventures - time with my family and being active.
To do all of these things, to do them well and to do them justice, requires passion, dedication, and effort. But also, and maybe more than anything, it also requires healthy and well-considered boundaries.
