showing up.

I recently took a bold step to have some headshots taken. I am booking more speaking engagements and the headshot I have been using is a selfie from my favorite spot at One Epic Place - where I saw my coaching clients in the Before Times. I say bold because I do not like having my picture taken. I get awkward and self-conscious and I hate my forced-canned-say-cheese-smile. Thankfully the positive synergy between my photographer and I led to some great shots.

I specifically include the image above because it largely illustrates the point of this essay. Vulnerability. Showing up. Authenticity.

I chose this photo because the first thing I thought when I saw it was “this is the truest me I’ve ever seen”. Maybe others who look at my face more frequently than I do would choose any of the other images from that shoot, but this one just seemed to look the most like me to me. It also tied in with a bunch of other thoughts that have been rattling around in my head all summer.

Sometimes super simple realizations are terrifically troublesome to come by. I find myself in this space currently as I reflect upon the evolution of myself; and of Solavis.

I am frequently asked where the idea for this endeavor came from. There are two responses to that rather straightforward question. There is the chronology of events - have an idea, write a business plan, create a logo, establish a web presence, find a community, hang out your shingle.

There is also the abstracted journey. It starts the same: have an idea. But the rest is simply: follow it.

So simple.

It was as simple, truly, as showing up.

And I did…sort of.

As I’ve come to understand it, showing up is akin to vulnerability. Vulnerability has not come naturally or easily to me. This has been true in my personal relationships and it was showing itself clearly in my early entrepreneurial endeavors.

I struggled…a lot….with describing, in those earliest days, what it is that I am doing with this coaching practice. I found myself tongue-tied, stammering over the right words and trying to reconcile a holistic, heart-centered explanation with the urge to also make sure all of my education, background, and credentials were announced as well. I struggled…a lot….with a need to validate my experience and my presence in this new realm.

In the process, my genuineness and authenticity were lost.

What I am creating at Solavis is different from any other “job” I’ve ever held because it is, at the foundational core of it, from and of me. More uncomfortable vulnerability.

The best thing I have to offer my clients is me, and the essence of me was nowhere to be found in my first “elevator pitch”. *

Even my professional mentors kept telling me ‘stop feeling like you’re selling and just let people see you’. Don’t bring your resume, bring your real self.

I was very busy proving something, when I needed to just show up.

So simple.

Of course, it took a global pandemic and an iPhone camera to make this super simple realization available to me.

When sheltering-at-home first began and I started the process of transitioning everything to a virtual format, I began recording meditations and scaled down versions of some of my workshops. I stretched my online presence to include Vimeo and an IGTV channel. Self-conscious, uncomfortable and untrained, it was the epitome of VULNERABLE.

But as we all hunkered down in our safe places, I had no choice but to show up.

It was imperfect, but it was real. And, what I’ve learned, is that is all anyone really looks for.

The truth is, the idea for this endeavor bubbled up from deep in my soul. I’m a helper. I’ve always been a helper, and for as long as I can remember, connecting with others and helping to alleviate pain and suffering has been a calling to which I have repeatedly responded.

The simplicity of following this idea was as natural and easy as breathing because this idea is from and of me. In these recent months, as I’ve dropped the facades of capability and expertise (both of which I certainly possess) and allowed folks to hear and see me I’ve felt deeper connection to you all, to this work, and to myself. All of this has been further supported by lovely and affirming feedback from my professional connections and clients.

Showing up.

Recently, a friend pulled a Tarot card for me. She sent her interpretation with the following:

Question to consider: What else are you working on to offer to your community, your tribe, your network? They are ready.

Me too, Community, me too. The thing that will make this work is me. Not my degrees. Not my professional credentials. They are simply the tools I have acquired, but they do not carry the spirit of Solavis.

*And in case you’re wondering…upon accepting a recent invitation to a professional organization in which I needed to introduce myself, I went with this. This is what I had been trying to say about Solavis all along:

Solavis Holistic is wellness oriented and solutions focused. I work with anyone feeling a little "stuck" and looking for goal specific and heart forward solutions instead of, or in addition to, traditional psychotherapy.

Get ready. We’ve got so much good work to do. Let’s show up together.